Tegan

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So, tell me when you gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.

In these 2 years
that we have been friends,
I have gained a lot from you
in the sense that
you have taught me a lot.

and I have also lost a lot,
in the sense,
that I lost a great friend,
you.

you were there for me,
when no one understood,
you were there to listen,
you were there.

and in that moment where I lost you,
I blamed her.
I blamed her,
because she was the one talking to you.
joking with you.

how childish I was.
selfish.

I blamed so many people,
but when I thought about it,

when I asked myself,
I realised,
that I wasn't the perfect friend.
I realised,
that I too was irritating.
I realised,
that I, myself drove you away.

and for that,
I really am sorry.
for I have hurt you,
or being childish,
thinking someone stole you away,
and that I had nothing to do with it.

But please know,
You will always be my
freakishly good friend.

Mugger

Don't blame the pretty lady. Coo.

You know how I feel,
because it happened to you.

You took the one friend I could call true.
You took the one freakishly good friend I had,
when I had nothing else.
And you took her away.

Look at yourself,
and ask yourself,
whether you deserve it.

Salvation

the people who don't care will never understand the people who do.

I really thought that I was the boundary.

So maybe we aren't that close.
maybe we shouldn't have chosen to become friends.
maybe you came into my life to teach me something.
maybe you deserve more.

but I don't think I'm the person you're looking for.

I'm saying,
maybe it's over.

First Date

No, you have to stay. 'Cause I'm not ready for you to not be here.

I need someone to reassure me,
to tell me again,
why I'm doing this.

I want someone to say,
hey you were great.

someone that is willing to give me attention.
not because I did something random,
or cried out silly things,
or even jumped about and smiling like an idiot.

I need someone,
to tell me that I was good,
because I put in the effort,
and did well.

I need someone,
to see me,
not as the best friend,
not as the good girl,
not as the cheerful sweetheart,
not as the emotional wreck,
not as the crazy looney,

but me,
the one who has a mind of her own,
the one who loves english songs only,
the one who thinks that IKEA meatballs are awesome,
the one who loves shows that portray female empowerment,
the one who has trouble fitting in,
the one who has trouble being herself,

I need someone to asks someone to shut up,
when that person has hurt me,
even though what the person said was funny.

I want someone
to reassure me that everything will be ok,
to reassure me that even if I'm teased that it was unintentional,
to reassure me why I did what I did,
and if it was wrong,
and guide me step by step on how I could correct that mistake.

I am so sick of people fawning over someone,
someone so hungry for attention,
so needy for a reply,
and so pushy for information.

It's when people don't see what is right in front of them,
and just not see how others are hurt,

I know it's unintentional.
and I know that you don't really care,
I also see how you don't see me,
as if I'm beneath you.

not good enough to be your friend,
not good enough to compliment,
not good enough to know things,
not good enough to be clever,
not good enough to scream,
not good enough to deserve any respect,

just a lowly servant,
begging to be in your good graces.

and the funny thing is,
you act as if you don't even know it.

I need someone to reassure me why I'm doing these things,
why I got into the play,
why I got to be your friend,
why I was willing to sacrifice so much in the past,
but not now.
why aren't I talking to you?
why am I so insecure?
why is it that I need to hang onto shit?
why am I letting everything get to me?

why isn't anyone stepping forward?

I'm Sorry.

THAT'S NOT RUNNING, THAT'S FALLING!

when people say things,
and do things,
what do they really mean,
some are blessed
with the ability
to choose exactly
what words to say
to a person.

when you talk to a person,
do you say what's in your mind?

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,

and after a while,
you won't mean those words,
you'll just be lying.

and what good is that?












I'm sorry,
truly,
I am.

Are you in, or are you out?

Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off.

It's tiring,
to pretend,
to make everything a lie,
to live a lie.

but you see,

lies,
they make up this complex web of shit,
that everyone spins,
and day after day,
you're going to start to forget
who you lied to,
and what you lied about.

and it's ridiculous
on all the little things
we need to lie about.

and it's sad,
how all of us
lie, and are upset
when other people do it.

people lie,
all the time
when we obviously don't need to.

why?

seriously,
why do people lie?

in this,
simple,
yet complex
mind of ours,
why do we lie?

we lie,
because someone will get hurt if we don't.

but no.
that just isn't a good enough reason.

Merteuil

Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.

I can't
I couldn't
I won't.

for too long,
I've kept silent.
and for too long,
I've been empty.

So this is it,
I'm doing this.

I'm being brave,
and being bold,
and doing something,
on my own,

and i'm putting my first step forward.

this is it.
i'm back.